How the NFL came to pass in a weary teacher's life

      You know something is terribly wrong with the world when someone like me starts to watch football. A few years ago, I came home exhausted, collapsed in bed and started to watch the San Diego vs. New Orleans game.  

     I was half asleep and all I could see was a field of squirming and running angry men in black and white tights, some with pink accessories, some without. I could not tell one team from the other. I get it. This is the Pink team vs White team game. I made a mental note to myself: watch more TV to catch up on the latest styles of NFL uniforms. 

     Then I was baffled - why were some players in the Pink team pouncing on others from their own team? Maybe they were preventing their teammates from going in the wrong direction? But why did those teammates keep insisting on going the wrong direction? Or were their teammates trying to get to them before they are tackled by opponents? Hm. Note to self: go back to the rule books. Look up recent dramatic shifts in NFL rules. 

     Next day I found out that the pink accessories were in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and that players from BOTH teams were wearing pink accessories. Hm. Note to self: try not to distinguish teams by the color of their shoes. Focus on the helmets instead.

     Note to self: study team helmets. 

     I started to read about football. I found out football is a game of players trying to get a ball from the middle of the field to their assigned goal located at opposite ends. A team will prevent the opposing team from reaching their goal. As they do so, classroom rules like “Be safe, be respectful and be responsible” do not apply. As teams try to carry, kick or throw the ball to their goals, there are mash ups and pile ups. Uniforms get dirty, bones get crushed. There are these events called the kick and the punt, the run and the pass, which advance a team faster than downing a ball along the way. 

     I used to think of football athleticism as nonexistent or crude. But now I see how big powerful moves have to be gracefully controlled to achieve a desired effect (although sometimes the desired effect is to display brute strength and raw power), and how small touches like the way a ball is gripped or thrown or tipped can make the difference between a touchdown, a down or a fumble. (Nobody asked me but in my opinion they should make the ball bigger so it is easier to carry.) Finesse is hardly a word you associate with football, but you can see it very clearly in slow motion replay.

      I am fascinated by football lingo. In the field players can be buried in coffin corners, quarterbacks are put in pockets, and running backs have hook or flat safety routes. Among running backs there is the scat back (smaller, more agile) and the power back (bigger and badder). Among kickers there are spot kickers, long snappers and punters (depending on where, when and how they kick). 

     I thought the only strategy in football is the blitz – in which the quarterback yells a code to his teammates which actually means, “Okay everybody let’s all come down hard on that one person with the ball and bury him till he can’t see the sun, the moon or the stars up above”. Other strategies have colorful names like Statue of Liberty (a very difficult and delicate fake), hurry-up offense, flea flicker, Hail Mary Pass, sack, tackle, kneel, and motion. And no, there are no such offensive or defensive play as stop, drop and roll or duck, cover and  hold.

     I am glad my mind was engaged in this lively game. I was in a tumultuous season in my life when I first started to get interested in football. It helped engage my brain with something new and different. And this helped me get through the school year. I don’t think I will ever know it or love it to the same point as those of you reading this while you are rolling your eyes. There is still a lot to learn but I have a very positive attitude. Like that pigskin that I wished was bigger so players have an easier time handling, whatever I was going through would, in turn, also eventually come to pass.



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